Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) is one of the most well-known 12-step programs for individuals struggling with compulsive sexual behavior. For some, it's a sanctuary—a place to find hope, support, and accountability. For others, it's a source of frustration, confusion, or even harm.
So, what are the most common criticisms of SAA—and is there any truth to them?
Let’s take an honest, balanced look.
1. “It’s Shame-Based”
The criticism: Some claim that SAA reinforces shame by labeling people as “sex addicts” and focusing heavily on powerlessness and moral inventory.
Is there truth to it?
Yes—and no.
The 12-step model is built around admitting powerlessness over addiction, which can be freeing for many but triggering for others. The language of “defects of character” and “making amends” may feel shaming if not balanced with compassion, trauma-awareness, and self-forgiveness.
For someone already drowning in guilt or religious trauma, the structure can feel more like a punishment than a pathway to healing.
What helps?
Shame loses power when met with empathy. Coaches and therapists trained in trauma recovery can help people reframe their journey—seeing addiction not as a moral failure, but as a maladaptive coping strategy.
2. “It’s Too Religious”
The criticism: SAA is often accused of being religious, particularly Christian-leaning, because of the emphasis on a “Higher Power” and the spiritual nature of the 12 steps.
Is there truth to it?
Partially. While SAA isn’t officially affiliated with any religion, the language and format—especially the Serenity Prayer—can feel uncomfortable or alienating to non-religious individuals.
That said, many groups make a conscious effort to welcome agnostics and atheists, emphasizing that your "Higher Power" can be anything: nature, community, inner strength, etc.
What helps?
Choosing meetings that resonate with your values. Some groups are more secular than others. And if spirituality is a barrier, therapy or coaching rooted in science-based practices might be a better fit.
3. “It Doesn’t Address the Root Cause”
The criticism: SAA focuses on behavior and abstinence, not on the emotional or psychological roots of sex addiction—like trauma, attachment wounds, or emotional neglect.
Is there truth to it?
Absolutely. Many who attend SAA long-term still struggle with underlying issues that were never resolved. The 12 steps are powerful for behavioral change and community support, but they’re not therapy.
What helps?
Pairing SAA with trauma-informed therapy, coaching, or somatic work can provide the deeper healing many people need. Recovery isn’t just about stopping the behavior—it’s about understanding the pain that drove it.
4. “It’s Not Inclusive Enough”
The criticism: Some feel that SAA meetings cater more to heterosexual men and don’t always feel safe or inclusive for women, LGBTQ+ individuals, or those with complex sexual identities.
Is there truth to it?
Yes. While there are women’s meetings and LGBTQ+ meetings, the majority of SAA groups are male-dominated. This can create discomfort or even re-traumatization for people who don’t see themselves represented.
What helps?
Finding affinity groups or alternative support communities like Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA), or seeking inclusive coaching programs that recognize gender, identity, and cultural nuance.
5. “It Doesn’t Work for Everyone”
The criticism: Some people attend meetings for years and still relapse frequently or feel stuck in cycles of shame and abstinence.
Is there truth to it?
Yes. Just like not every diet works for every body, not every recovery model works for every person. SAA isn’t a magic bullet—it’s a framework. And for those who need more structure, guidance, or trauma healing, it might not be enough on its own.
What helps?
Customized recovery plans that include therapy, coaching, relationship work, and habit-building systems can dramatically increase the chance of long-term success.
So, Are the Criticisms Valid?
Yes—many of them are.
But that doesn’t make SAA “bad” or “useless.” It means it’s one tool in a larger recovery toolbox. For some, it’s life-changing. For others, it’s just the beginning.
The key is recognizing that recovery is not one-size-fits-all. If SAA resonates with you, great—go all in. If it doesn’t, or if you’ve hit a wall, don’t be afraid to explore other options.
Healing is a deeply personal journey. And you’re allowed to find the path that works best for you.
Comments (0)