Mother opens up about perinatal OCD: ‘I thought I was going to hurt myself — I didn’t want to’
A mother diagnosed with perinatal OCD at 35 weeks pregnant and even had images of cutting her own throat has urged women to learn about the frightening but hidden condition which occurs during two in every 100 pregnancies.Her warning comes amid calls from an expert to urgently press ahead with expanded perinatal mental health services.
The Limerick mother of two young children, who asked not be named, said: “Nobody I know had ever heard of this before."She had welcomed becoming pregnant in April 2023 with her second child.However, she said: “In late August, September I started to get very anxious.“There was a very tight feeling in my chest, I was very worried about different things. I started to cry uncontrollably at night. I would zone in on things.” She shared some worries with a neighbour and her gynaecology team but did not attend counselling they arranged.
Then weirdly I started to get images of cutting my throat. This was something I had never experienced before, you know I have a very happy, lovely life.
“The images kept getting stronger and stronger to the point where I thought I was going to do it. I didn’t want to do it.” As this worsened, she said: “My husband found me one morning putting all of the knives in the bin.” The horrifying images were almost constant.“It was intrusive thoughts, that’s the label now I know they have, but at the time I was very frightened,” she said.At 35 weeks pregnant she spoke to her GP and her gynaecologist’s team.Dr John Slevin was “very empathetic”, she said and immediately referred her for specialist help.Later that day she was seen by “an amazing” mental health nurse in University Hospital Limerick’s emergency department. She spoke about this crisis and for the first time about trauma from her first birth.“I was really frightened I would be taken into a psychiatric ward,” she recalled.Instead she was sent to see Dr Mas Mahady Mohamad, in University Maternity Hospital Limerick's perinatal mental health services. “He diagnosed me with post-traumatic stress from my first labour and perinatal OCD now. He told me ‘you are not suicidal you have perinatal OCD’,” she said.She could not take medication while pregnant but said HSE information leaflets were already calming.“One of the top symptoms of perinatal OCD was hiding knives and sharp objects. When I read that both me and my husband breathed a big sigh of relief,” she said.“We thought I’m not suicidal, I’m not wanting to do this to myself. I can’t tell you the relief that it gave me to read this.” Extra supports were arranged during the birth by Dr Slevin and the perinatal mental health service. She was on medication for around 14 months afterwards and had free weekly counselling for nine months.“That was core to it more so than anything else,” she said. “Thankfully I feel the most normal I have felt since before the birth of my first child.” She urged women to learn about perinatal OCD, saying: “If I had read this story when I was going through it, maybe then I would have felt more confident to speak out about it.”Dr Mahady Mohamad described how perinatal OCD differs from OCD in other patients.
When people experience intrusive thoughts either during pregnancy or just after delivering, often the content of these thoughts can be about harm happening to the baby or to themselves or to another loved one.
He stressed: “We know most if not all these patients get better once they receive help.” He treats women with perinatal OCD “every couple of months”, adding: “about two in 100 births” is the national figure.“We see women who have thrown away all their kitchen knives so they feel safer,” he said.These women are not a risk to their babies, the HSE said with no recorded cases of people with OCD acting on obsessional thoughts. It can also affect two to three in every 100 women in the year after giving birth. He worries about women who delay treatment for any perinatal mental illness. “We know that patients can minimise the symptoms, they might downplay the symptoms for fear of being referred onto child protection services,” he said.Some women with a variety of illnesses fear being separated from their baby because no Irish psychiatric unit admits babies.“We definitely need mother and baby units in the country,” he said. “We have definitely noticed a need for this, and not just one unit because we will need to cater for patients across the country.” A mother and baby unit was recommended in 2017 when this service was first developed. He warned perinatal mental health services nationally have seen “a significant rise in demand” since then.Limerick is one of six consultant-led hub sites with various specialists attached. There are also 13 regional clinics, each run by a single mental health midwife and supported by a hub.He has seen growing pressure making it increasingly difficult to support those clinics.“With only one mental health midwife, they’re very much at a disadvantage compared to the hubs,” he said, describing access for women as “a postcode lottery” as a result.A review of services is underway. “We want to improve in the next iteration of the model of care,” he said. “It’s hopefully going to be addressed.” See the HSE website for information on referrals to the Specialist Perinatal Mental Health Services.
Comments (0)