Remember me
New York-based writer and cultural icon David Coggins has spent years writing about the things that hold his attention – men’s style, travel, art, and fly-fishing. The author of The Believer: A Year in the Fly Fishing Life and The New York Times bestseller Men and Style, he also publishes The Contender, a widely read newsletter.
One of the benefits of getting older is the acquisition of a little wisdom along the way, says Coggins, even if it does take a while to settle in. Here, then, are the rules he lives by.
©Spencer Wells
Embrace the improbable effort
I like people who are prepared to do something slightly unhinged for what they care about. Drive overnight to see a concert or sports match? I feel you. Hike station to station across the English countryside? Yes, please. Living an interesting life isn’t going to happen without some improbable effort.
Don’t worry about not knowing
You’ve never read a Russian novel the size of a brick? That’s fine. Not been to Paris in May? All right. Opera apprentice? These things happen. How is that going to change if you’re afraid of starting out on the ground floor? You start Tolstoy on the first page, like everybody else. Plenty of Americans fall in love with France later in life. I just started going to the ballet. Give yourself a chance to be part of a great tradition.
Analog conversation
As Sydney Greenstreet says in The Maltese Falcon, “I’m a man who likes to talk to a man who likes to talk.” Amen, brother Sydney. I love to sit with somebody I care about and let the conversation just take its course. An hour is good, a few hours is better. This is a great habit. A friendship is about sharing experience but it’s also time spent together talking.
©Chase Winfrey
Obsess over a city
Or state or country. What a pleasure it is to have a favorite place you return to throughout your life. This will wax and wane. I went to Montana every year for a decade, and though I go there less these days, it was an education for that time in my life. Make a return engagement with Paris, London, Tokyo, or wherever else gravity pulls you.
A minimum of open-mindedness
The danger for somebody like me, who can be (ahem) set in his ways, is that it keeps you on an increasingly narrow path. I know what I like and I return to that thing; sometimes that’s a strength but often it’s not. In the last year I’ve gone to college football games in cities I’ve never visited, I went on a 10-day fast in Spain, and I became obsessed with Canada. It’s not that these are groundbreaking but they’re all new to me. It’s good to expand the state of play.
Don’t fear a little failure
As I get older I’m more comfortable with failure. If, when you write a book, you’re doing it for strong personal reasons then the reception is secondary. You want the work to be good and that’s the most important thing. The fear of criticism keeps people from worthy creative endeavors. If it helps, pretend the internet doesn’t exist.
©Spencer Wells
Get the catalog
One of my father’s rules. If you see an exhibition you like, get the catalog. Over time you’ll have a history of what you’ve seen. And often catalogs go out of print, which means they’re harder to find and more expensive.
Read the letters
If you love a writer (and even if you don’t), try their letters. You can learn a lot about Bruce Chatwin, Ernest Hemingway, EB White, and Hunter S Thompson (my favorite collection of all) from what they write about their friends, editors, and enemies.
Don’t do everything
You can visit Tokyo 50 different ways; that’s part of what makes it great. When I was younger I had a stronger sense that I had to do x, y, and z. When time didn’t allow that, I felt like I missed out. Now I relax, see what I can, and look forward to having something on the list if I’m lucky enough to return. Not feeling the urgency of seeing everything makes travel much more enjoyable.
The impossibility of overdressing
With a baseline of confidence you will never be overdressed in a city.
Serve yourself
My strongest rule. Clothes are meant to serve you: your figure, your personality, your world view. You’re bigger than a brand. Nobody worth impressing will ever care about a logo. If you look like the best version of yourself then you’re in the right place.
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