The Whole Restaurant’s A Stage

A guy walks in with a date. I walk them to a table, put their menus in front of them, and go back to my spot behind the bar. 

He stands up, walks to the middle of the floor, and asks:

Customer: “What can I get to eat around here?!”

His date is reading the menu, so I point to her and say politely:

Me: “Maybe you should follow her lead.”

I take their order, bring their food, play nice about refills, clear plates, and the full server song and dance. I drop the bill on the table and go back to other work.

He stands up again in the middle of the floor and asks:

Customer: “How much if I pay in cash?!”

I gesture at the little folder with the bill in it.

Me: “The price of the meal is right there.”

He leaves cash, I make change, and he takes it all.

Nothing about this man’s accent led me to believe he was foreign, but it was clear that this adult man had never eaten at a sit-down restaurant on his own in his entire life.