Úna Crawford: "The idea of watching him change will be very sad"

As Bryan Murray, who was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease six years ago, bids farewell to Fair City, his partner in life and on screen, Úna Crawford O'Brien talks to Janice Butler about making the difficult decision for him to step away from the soap and why it’s so important for carers to ask for help. In August 2022, actor Bryan Murray and his partner in work and life, Úna Crawford O’Brien sat down with us and revealed that he had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease in 2019. He hoped going public would help others. His brave decision to go public with his illness got a conversation going around the disease, and since then, Bryan and Úna have continued to be advocates for the Alzheimer Society of Ireland (ASI). In 2022, Bryan said to us: "I wish I didn't have it, but I do have it, and I'm still here. I have it and I am working with it." Bryan continued to work with his condition until a few weeks ago, when the couple announced that the veteran actor will be stepping away from his 27-year role as Bob Charles on Fair City. His partner and main carer Úna opened up on the Ray D’Arcy show to explain that while maintaining Bryan’s role in the soap ensemble had been a key aim for them, it had become too difficult and distressing, so the time had come to step away. Bryan had his last speaking part in the show before Christmas, and last week, his final scenes were aired. RTÉ Guide Since the announcement, there’s been a huge outpouring of love, respect and care for the couple. When I spoke to Úna during a break in her own schedule on Fair City, where she plays Bob’s wife, Renee Phelan, she admits to feeling overwhelmed by it all. "The reaction to Bryan’s retirement has been incredible. The outpouring of love that we’ve received has been so appreciated. It’s been a lot to process," she says. "I didn’t want to overdo it and have people thinking 'Here she is again’, but in actual fact, the amount of people who are reaching out to me to say that because we’ve spoken out about Bryan’s diagnosis, it spurred them on to get a loved one checked. So it makes it worthwhile when you hear that," she continues. "When Bryan was asked would he be interested in working on the ASI working group, he immediately said yes. He was keen to help in any way that he could so I know he’d want me to continue his message." It’s been a difficult road since Bryan’s diagnosis. Úna says it took her a long time to admit that she needed help as his condition worsened. In fact, it took a broken foot before she reached out for assistance. "What happened was I broke my foot in November, and it was a total nightmare. I couldn’t do anything. I had the foot up for three months nearly and it was an eye opener," she reveals. RTÉ Guide "I realised if anything happened to me in the future, I would need to have people and a system in place to help and that’s what jolted me into getting help. I don’t know how long I would have continued saying ‘I can cope on my own’ had that not happened. If I could go back, I would have accepted help earlier." Since then, Bryan’s family, two brothers and his daughter who live nearby (and her own two sons) have been a huge help. Úna has a system of carers and respite in place. It allows her some time in the week to rest and prepare for her own scenes in Fair City, saying that going to work is a place of solace for her. "Work is my sanity, and besides loving it, which I do, just being able to get out and mix with people and friends and just to have chats about regular things, it just makes you able to cope a bit more. So, for me to be able to get out and do these things, I need help. Everybody needs help, because it’s a 24-7 job. Even when Bryan is asleep, I’m worried he might get up during the night." She credits the Fair City cast, crew and producer Brigie de Courcy for all they’ve done for Bryan to ensure he could still work after his diagnosis. "Brigie was incredible; her and the team have facilitated him the best they could, and that included everyone – acting, staging, sound – they all helped out. Huge thanks goes to them all," she says with emotion. RTÉ Guide "They respected my decision late last year when I said he would have to finish up. Brigie had always said that she was leaving it entirely up to me, which was the best thing she could have done, because I wanted him to do it as long as he possibly could. But once it started to stress him in any way, I knew the time was right for him to finish. He wasn’t aware that he was finished either and that was good," she adds. Both were separated when they first met in 2005. Bryan had been married twice before and Úna jokes that she didn’t "want to be anyone’s third wife." While they never married, the romance blossomed, and they have been together almost 20 years. They’ve travelled the world together and she remarks on Bryan’s ‘zest’ for life, always asking what they are doing next. She finds it bittersweet to reflect on their life before his diagnosis. "We had great times, great laughs," she says. "We went to great places together, he was always like ‘What are we doing, where are we going?’ He has such a joy for life, and that does keep me going, but in a way, it makes me sad because we had such good times and we’re not going to have them again." Bryan has had an impressive career, spanning stage and screen. Apart from Fair City, he’s best known for RTÉ's adaptation of Strumpet City and the UTV/RTÉ co-production The Irish R.M. Originally from Dublin’s Islandbridge, Bryan found a love for acting at a young age and managed to join The Abbey and go to London, where he was a member of notable companies including The Royal National Theatre. Portrait of actor Bryan Murray (as Trevor Jordache) from the television show 'Brookside, England, February 25, 1993. (Photo by Bryan O'Brien/Independent News and Media/Getty Images) Úna says he was and is hugely proud of his acting career and still gets great joy from reading scripts and lines. "His pal Barry McGovern was in yesterday, and the two of them were reading Joyce and Finnegans Wake and he thoroughly enjoyed it. The actor is still there inside him," she remarks. "He was very proud of his career – he loved being on stage or on television, and the people that he met," she says. "He loved the musicals; he did Blood Brothers here in Ireland in ’86 and he was in the West End. He did move to LA at one stage for a couple of years, but he didn’t like it," she laughs. "He would revel in any work that he did – he was only eight weeks in Brookside as Trevor Jordache, and he would still get people stopping him about that. Then he was delighted when he got on Fair City. He loved it there." Actors Kenneth Waller (left) and Bryan Murray in a scene from the BBC television sitcom 'Bread', June 18th 1990. (Photo by Don Smith/Radio Times/Getty Images) She admits that they had never discussed when he would draw a line on his acting career due to his illness, both hoping he could do it for as long as possible. "We never had those kind of conversations," she says. "Bryan’s work and his acting were always his first love, and the idea that he wouldn’t be able to work was just not somewhere we went. He would always say, actors never retire, they just look for the next script, the next job, so the idea of even broaching the subject that he might end up not working, it was never a conversation piece. I knew part of my job was to keep him going at work, as long as we could." Away from Carrigstown, Bryan’s last role on stage was in a Deirdre Kinahan play, An Old Song, Half Forgotten at the Abbey Peacock. It was written especially for him and he played James O’Brien, an older actor living with Alzheimer’s in a nursing home in England. A film production team followed Bryan and Úna as he navigated the role and their life at home since then as part of a documentary. Bryan Murray presents 'Encore' (1986) She struggles with describing the changes in Bryan from when they started working on the documentary three years ago. "The idea of watching him change will be very sad. You see this man, who, yes, has Alzheimer's when they started making it, but he was full of the joys and cracking jokes. Looking back on it now, there were times I thought he was bad, but you get to this stage, three years later, and it’s a different kind of bad." Úna tries to find light and joy in the simple moments with Bryan. Although he doesn’t always recognise her any more, he still loves music and going for ice cream with Úna and their dog Bob, named after his Fair City character. "He adores ice cream, we’ve a lovely little shop that opened near us about a month ago, so we’ll stroll up to that and have an ice cream and sit with the dog; two of his favourite things." RTÉ Guide Brian is in respite for a few weeks, Úna says, and while he isn’t aware that he’s no longer filming Fair City, she will at some stage share with him all the love and support he’s received in the last few weeks. "When he comes home, I’ll have had a rest and will be able to face the day again. You have to appreciate when things are good, grab it with both hands," she says bravely. "When I’m sure that he has put Fair City behind him, I will read him all the beautiful messages that he’s received." For more on the Alzheimer Society of Ireland, visit: alzheimer.ie or call the National Helpline: 1800-341 341. The ASI fundraiser Tea Day is on May 1 and you can donate through the website, alzheimer.ie.

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