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This week’s diarist wants to become more adventurous in the bedroom (Picture: Myles Goode/ Getty)
Welcome to How I Do It, the series in which we give you a seven-day sneak peek into the sex life of a stranger.
This week we hear from Fran*, 40, a bisexual writer from the southeast, who lives with her husband of 10 years, Rick*. Together, they share two young sons.
Fran and Rick met 12 years ago through mutual friends, and typically have oral sex about once a week, finding it much more satisfying than penis-in-vagina intercourse.
In fact, their favourite way to get intimate is the good old-fashioned 69.
While it’s of course named after the literal positioning of two bodies doing said deed, it conjures up images of free-love during the swinging 60s, which may be why it’s considered a retro throwback — despite remaining a popular meal for two.
‘This way I’m pretty much guaranteed an orgasm each time,’ Fran says. But, the couple are looking for adventure in the bedroom in 2026.
‘I used to be much more sexually active, but my relationship with sex and my body has changed since having my kids,’ Fran explains. ‘I really don’t have the confidence in my body that I had ten years ago.
‘It’s a result of a mixture of my body ageing and being postpartum, but I just don’t feel able to love myself in the same way as before.’
Despite her insecurities, Fran is determined to dress in clothes that make her feel sexy and feminine again, and ‘tone up’ to give her the confidence to become dominant in the bedroom.
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‘I would like to regain some of my pre-birth sexual confidence and dust down the S&M gear currently on hiatus at the bottom of my drawer.’
So without further ado, here’s how Fran got on this week…
The following sex diary is, as you might imagine, not safe for work.
MondayThe kids are going crazy, the house is a tip, and I’ve eaten my own body weight in cheese since the holidays. Today, the pressure of having recently hosted both our families finally takes its toll and I have a raging row with Rick.
He feels I didn’t do enough to help out over Christmas. I remind him that I was working over Christmas, did most of the childcare, and was told, in no uncertain terms, to keep out the kitchen on Christmas day.
We don’t argue often, but it’s usually over the same thing – he doesn’t think I pull my weight with housework.
By the evening I’m hopeful we’ll move on to the make-up sex stage, or at least some angry sex to get the frustration out of our systems. Sadly, it’s not to be tonight.
He’s snoring soundly when I get to bed and I’m not sure it’s worth the hassle of waking him up, to be honest.
TuesdayToday, things are much calmer between Rick and I. No one has apologised after the row, but I think he understands he was perhaps being a bit of a d**k yesterday.
I don’t need an apology, just getting rid of the sour atmosphere is enough for me, and we even get back to being affectionate
The day is peppered with cheeky comments and the odd over-the-clothes grope when the kids aren’t around. There’s something delicious about sharing little snatched moments like this behind the kids’ backs.
It almost feels like hiding my teenage love affairs from my disapproving parents again.
We finish off with a takeaway, before falling into bed.
WednesdayThe boys have friends round this afternoon, so everything is a bit hectic. They’re all tearing around the place on a massive sugar high.
They crash out in bed by nine, so my husband and I make the most of the peace.
We snuggle up on the sofa catching up on our favourite TV shows. Before long we find our hands starting to roam. Soon we’re on the living room floor, indulging in some enthusiastic 69-ing.
When I was younger, before I met my husband, I always thought penis-in-vagina sex was the be-all and end-all. I was totally centred on the other person’s pleasure, often at the expense of my own.
I think in part it’s due to the bulls**t we used to get fed by teen magazines in the 90s about how to please our boyfriends. For a long time, it didn’t even occur to me my pleasure was just as important.
But when I met Rick, I found a man who genuinely wanted to please me in all areas of life, unlike anyone else before.
These days, 69 is definitely our ‘go to’ position for passion. We always finish together and my orgasms are so much more intense (and frequent).
We may not have as much PIV sex as we used to back in the day and pre-kids, but all our sexual encounters are so much more satisfying.
ThursdayToday is devoted to giving the house a proper clean after the Christmas and New Year festivities, so the process takes hours.
By the time it’s all over, I genuinely can’t imagine anything I’d rather do less than have sex, oral or otherwise.
We just about drum up enough energy for another takeaway and some more TV, but tonight, my bed is for sleeping only.
Enjoying this diary? There's more... FridayRick’s got a long day at work today. I’m supposedly working from home, but enjoying having the house to myself, I decide to enjoy some ‘me time’.
Unfortunately, the batteries in my bullet vibrator are well and truly flat, and as I have no new ones to hand, I end up having to do things manually.
Going out to the garage in search of new batteries in sub-zero temperatures would really kill the moment.
I’m quite unadventurous when I masturbate, it’s usually on our bed and it’s usually more functional than ceremonial. But I always make myself come at least once.
I’ve never hidden my vibrator from my husband, but I genuinely don’t know if he realises I indulge in regular solo play. It’s just never really come up in conversation.
Then I pick the kids up, Rick gets home from work and I make dinner. Everyone collapses into bed exhausted.
SaturdayWe wake up before the kids, and I feel my husband spoon up behind me.
Under the duvet, his hands roam all over my body until he finally finds that sweet spot and after just a couple of minutes of rubbing, I come to a shuddering orgasm.
I reach behind to return the favour, but after a few seconds, we hear stirring in the other room – the kids are awake.
Instead, he jumps into the shower to finish what I started.
I think we would have more sex if we didn’t have kids. For a start, we could just do it when and where we fancied and I could vocalise my pleasure more freely.
I would prefer a loud afternoon shag rather than an evening session where I have to bite my lip. But one of the biggest barriers is tiredness. Running around after kids all day is simply knackering, which means sex is often at the bottom of my list after a long day.
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We take the kids to the park to enjoy the crisp winter weather. There’s a lot of complaining about the cold, but once they start running around, they barely seem to notice.
SundayRecently, my husband and I spoke about how our resolution was to be more adventurous in bed.
As much as we like our 69-sessions, I know Rick would like us to relive our BDSM days, and for to be more dominant in bed.
But whether I can actually find the motivation or will to remove us from this sexual rut we’ve found ourselves in, time will tell. For now, I’m happy with the routine we’ve got going.
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