A customer comes over and starts telling me:
Customer: “I was here yesterday, and you gave me the wrong soda! My diabetic husband drank it, and we had to go to the hospital to get medication to cure him!”
Me: “Wow, they cured his diabetes? That’s amazing!”
Customer: “Yeah, but you almost killed him!”
Me: “That’s not how diabetes works. You don’t die from one sip of soda, and generally if you did, you’d have insulin to take.”
Customer: “Well, still! It was the wrong soda, so I need some compensation!”
Me: “Do you know who served you?”
Customer: *Looks around.* “Hmm, lemme see, it was…”
I was the only concessions worker yesterday, and somehow, she’s failing to identify me.
Me: “Can I see your ticket stubs or proof of purchase?”
Customer: “I don’t have that.”
Me: “What movie did you see yesterday?”
Customer: “It was Flight Risk, matinee.”
I looked up the attendance for that showing yesterday.
Me: “Hmm, the report for that showtime shows zero tickets were sold to it.”
This happens more often than you’d realize on slow weekday afternoons. When it happens, we stop playing the movie twenty minutes in to “save the projector”.
Customer: “Uh… oh yeah, that was my other complaint! You sold us tickets to the wrong movie!”
Me: “Then you would have been in the wrong auditorium.”
Customer: “…”
Me: “Anything else?”
She just slumped and went back to the box office to buy her d*** tickets.
