We had a father and daughter come in. Regrettably, it was pretty busy, so nobody ID’d them on the floor while they were shopping. I had seen the girl just prior to arriving at the checkout, picking things out.
When they arrived, I asked her for ID.
Father: “Oh, I’m buying it.”
I think anyone who works in liquor knows/hates those words, as it means you’re about to get into a big argument. Working in this industry, you sort of get hardened to people getting upset as you’re constantly refusing people, dealing with alcoholics, and thieves. In 99% of situations, it doesn’t affect me one bit, but the parent/child combo approaching my reg still sets me on edge. They are, by far, the worst kinds of customers.
Me: “You may be buying it, but as she was picking it out herself, I’d need to see her ID as well.”
She looked panicked, so I already knew she wasn’t eighteen.
Father: “She’s… seventeen.”
Me: “Unfortunately, I won’t be able to sell any of this to you today.”
Father: *Angrily.* “I don’t understand, I’m buying it though.”
I give him a quick run-down of secondary supply laws, i.e., that I can’t sell to an adult who is intending to provide alcohol to a minor.
Father: “I don’t understand.”
I go into a bit more depth, point out the signs we have on the wall (he refuses to look), and give him the name of the legislation and suggest he can Google it if he’d like.
Father: “BUT I DON’T UNDERSTAND! THAT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE!”
Of course, he understands; he simply does not like my answer.
Father: “Fine, I’ll just send her to the car, and I’ll buy it on my own.”
He still ‘can’t understand’ when my answer is no.
So then he gives me the ‘Parent Special’: offering a million and one hypothetical situations in which he could purchase the alcohol.
Father: “So, I’d be able to buy it if she stayed in the car? What if you didn’t know? What if I had come shopping with my eleven-year-old? What if we went to a different store? What if I came back tomorrow and bought the same thing?”
Etc., etc., etc.
Me: “AND WHAT IF YOU COULD FLY? You could grab the items and float away before I had the chance to stop you! We’re not in any of those situations. We’re in this one, and I can’t legally serve you.”
The daughter tries one more:
Daughter: “But then how am I supposed to buy my friend a present for her eighteenth?”
We all know there are ways. Ask your father, he’s great at coming up with alternative scenarios. But instead, I give the answer I’m allowed to give:
Me: “Well, minors can’t buy alcohol, so legally, you can’t.”
Daughter: “BUT I DON’T UNDERSTAAAAND.”
Sensing I’d still be there today if I didn’t put to end to the conversation, I did the only thing that ever makes them leave; I picked the items up, put them back in the cart, curtly apologise/restate there’s nothing to be done, then casually walked the f*** away from them with their products.
